How I got the body I hate.
Recently I started a new fitness program that helps me measure my portions and eat healthier while exercising. I’ve been exercising on and off and started going more to help me with my mood and stress. Every time I felt overwhelmed with the kids, I escaped to the gym for one hour. You would think I’m the healthiest and have a rocking body by now, but that is not the case. I also escape my stress by having a glass of wine, going out with my girlfriends for dinner and eating sweets and carbs. I have always been addicted to coffee and a pastry for breakfast. No matter how much I exercise, my diet has deteriorated with trying to be a mom that puts her kids first when it comes to meal times.
Today as we take our first trip to Key West as a family I packed my tropical wardrobe, which instead of a bikini, included a one piece bathing suite. I tried to make good decisions with my meals, but everything went downhill when I have two kids tantruming that they are tired, hot and hungry. We end up stopping at the first restaurant we see and there is nothing but fried food and sodas. I ended up eating conch fritters and a Piña Colada. I skipped my exercise routine in attempt to get the kids out the door so we could catch our tour bus. And then came the moment where I told myself, “I hate my body”. The moment where I had to put on a bathing suit to go to the pool with my kids. I realized I have been self sabotaging my exercise routine and my eating habits. Every time the kids tantrum or are driving me crazy I reach for comfort by making bad food decisions.
I read a quote today that said, “eating unhealthy is not giving yourself a treat, it’s punishing yourself”. Then my husband told me, “you look beautiful, but a two piece bathing suit is more flattering than a one piece.” I felt like I wanted to crawl under the towel and hide. I told myself that my husband was being nice, but for me that meant I look like crap. It took me back to my high school insecurities of body image.
But looking back I realize I got this body I hate by eating unhealthy, by giving myself a small treat after the kids have been extra whiny during the day, or I had an overwhelming day with things that I took personal or obsessed about. I created a body I don’t like by thinking that I was being good to myself giving myself treats and also skipping meals because there is never time for me to eat. I have gone days with just a coffee and a sweet for breakfast, then a big late lunch around 4pm after I have picked up the kids from school and then no dinner because I am too full still from a late lunch. I slowly went affecting my metabolism, so no matter how often I exercised during the week, my food consumption was a horrible match.
As mothers we must remember that if you don’t feel good and you don’t take care of yourself, then you can’t give the best of you to your family. Being healthy and exercising helps me show my kids right choices. Lets improve the world by making better choices, starting with our food choices.